I think every girl feels like this at some point in her life, even if she’ll never admit it. Me? I meet my green monster when my cousin comes around. Waist smaller than a size 5 even after a baby, tall and lean with long hair. She’s even a model. Every time I see her I wonder who could ever see anything “pretty” about me if they’ve already seen her.
Then, you know, it comes out when I see the girlfriend of the guy I like, and it makes me think about that more intensely. Like I’ll never be pretty enough because I’m not her. I’m not blonde, I don’t play lacrosse, I don’t have a southern accent. I’m not a beach baby “livin’ & lovin’ life”. I think. I read. I want to impact the world with my mind and I’m not afraid to make my voice heard.
Every time I think about all that, though, I have to remind myself that I was created this way for a reason. Something about why I am the way I am has to be important. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t look like how I do. I would have a huge group of girlfriends who all look like me and we’d do each other’s hair and break boys’ hearts. I wouldn’t have bought 5 books yesterday and acted like a six year-old getting the coolest toy in the toy store. I’d be coordinated and athletic.
If I was meant to have my cousin’s double zero waist when she was my age I’d have it, but I don’t, and it’s taken me until just recently to start to be comfortable with that.
Girls shouldn’t compare themselves. I know that’s impossibly hard not to scoff at but it’s true. We’re unique, we’re beautiful, and who are we to let a boy tell us differently? Everyone has a different opinion, sees beauty in different forms, so if one guy doesn’t think we’re the most beautiful girl in the world who’s to say the next guy will agree with him?
Someone out there is going to find us beautiful, maybe more than one person, but even if we haven’t found him yet we can’t give up, because he’s out there, and he’s going to make up for all those losers who knocked us down.
And honestly, if a guy even dares to tell us we’re not beautiful we should just knock him out. Always a satisfactory option.
While all-too aware of how much I’m going to regret it if I don’t do it.
…This realisation still doesn’t do anything to spark my motivation.
It’s been a
Kind of day. >.>
Commencing dance session now.
Can’t decide if I want to spend it with him:
Amelia in the morning, Doctor Who in the afternoon…
Angel in the morning, Bones for like, the rest of the day and night (I’m a little behind. >.>)
Happy Valentine’s Day. :]
P.S. I’m NOT going to be a bitter ex, I’m not. I promise. Just keep me up with the chocolate and no one will get their head torn off. ():]